haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I am in a vortex of obligation.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize