haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
