we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
