Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
