apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Let's get the cat blown out
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
