please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
