4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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