Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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