you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
