.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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