Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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