Will you blow on my dice?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
This is my gift to your gina
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize