one two three fourrrrnication!
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
