problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize