Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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