Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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