He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
