She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
