Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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