Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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