redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
