she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
