i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
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