It's like a parade of train wrecks.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize