Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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