quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
