i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
