I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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