Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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