I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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