Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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