Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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