I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Nicole vs. Life
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you will always have a special place in my vag
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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