I just cut my nipple shaving
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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