I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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