end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
