an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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