god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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