I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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