You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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