I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
