Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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