so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
