Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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