why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
