The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
