what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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