My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
