you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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