Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
