you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
