When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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