The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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