nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
