So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
