You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
