But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
