I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
