Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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