i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
