my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize