She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
This toilet bowl is my home.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
