I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
