It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
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